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The Marriage Bed: The Biblical Call To BOTH Sanctify It And Electrify (Enjoy) It

Rev. Dr. Duke Jeyaraj

The writer to the Hebrews writes, ‘Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral’ (Heb. 13:4, NIV). This is a clear call to sanctify the marriage bed! That means that there is no room in the marriage bed for anyone else apart from your spouse. To cite an example: You cannot watch porn to spice up your sex inside marriage for that is akin to having a porn star in your marriage bed (recall Jesus’ words which makes lust, adultery in Matt. 5:28).

Duke Jeyaraj writes, ‘You cannot watch porn to spice up your sex inside marriage for that is akin to having a porn star in your marriage bed (recall Jesus’ words which makes lust, adultery in Matt. 5:28).’

The same Bible that calls us to sanctify our marriage bed, calls us to electrify it as well! Let me explain: by saying that I mean there are clear calls in both the Old Testament and New Testament to celebrate inside-marriage sex! Can I briefly take you through a survey in this regard, which I believe, will be memorable!

The Call from the THE  FONDLING STORY:

‘The call to have unabashed sex inside marriage comes first from an incident from Isaac and Rebecca’s life’ – writes Duke Jeyaraj

We read that Isaac – he was not exactly young – fondling his wife Rebecca in Genesis 26. Genesis 26:8 goes this way: ‘When Isaac had been there a long time, Abimelek king of the Philistines looked down from a window and saw Isaac caressing his wife Rebekah.’ The word ‘caressing’ here implies sexual foreplay. It is talking about a physical intimacy that may not necessarily lead to a sexual climax! It is sad phenomenon that among many Christian couple, the touching leads to super-fast sex without the lingering in the acts like caressing. As a couple, Isaac and Rebecca explored each other’s bodies in an unhurried way! That is indeed a biblical way to electrify your marriage bed!

The Call from the FOUNTAIN JODI:

‘The only biblical call for intoxication found in Proverbs 5:18-20 concerns the celebration of no-holding-back sexual love between husband and wife!’ – writes Duke Jeyaraj

The Proverbs-writer compares the wife to a fountain. I call the couple talked about in Proverbs 5, ‘the Fountain Jodi’ (the Fountain Couple). He writes in Proverbs 5:18-20: “May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer – may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love. Why, my son is intoxicated with another man’s wife? Why embrace the bosom of a wayward woman?” (ESV). Why is the wife called a fountain? The fountain was the source of clean drinking water in Biblical times. The implication is direct: the only guilt-free place that God has ordained for sexual thirsts to be quenched should be inside the boundaries of marriage. Men, from time immemorial have visit prostitutes, had affairs with the ‘wayward woman’ because of their thirst for sexual variety. And that is a sin against God as this above passage and other Bible passages would clearly teach. But what Proverbs 5:18-20 teaches is this: the husband and wife should together make their sex life so exciting that it would make a visit to a prostitute or affairs with wayward women/men a big bore! And what is more, this passage calls us for the only sin-free intoxication which is to enjoy sex within the boundaries of marriage! All other intoxication, alcohol and drug intoxication included, is sin according to the Bible. Have you ever realized that intoxication with sexual love for your spouse, is a God-commanded intoxication! Yes, Proverbs 5:18-20 is a biblical call to electrify the marriage bed!

The Call from the Fragrance of En Gedi

‘The Song of Songs couple inspires married couples to have sex inside of marriage to experience God-ordained pleasure! There is no mention of a child-birth in this book, did you notice?’ – writes Duke Jeyaraj

I refer to the Song of Songs couple here. The woman says in 1:12 to 14 this: ‘While the king was at his table, my perfume spread its fragrance. My beloved is to me a sachet of myrrh resting between my breasts. My beloved is to me a cluster of henna blossoms from the vineyards of En Gedi.’ This book uses word pictures to depict actual sexual intimacy situations. So, what is the meaning of Song of Songs 1:12-14? It is this, according to me: The husband becomes a sachet of good smell emanating myrrh who celebrates every curve of his wife in electrifying sexual union (the curves are explicitly named in the above passage). Myrrh used to drive away bad smell from dead bodies. But in this passage, myrrh represents the husband himself who transforms into a pleasing aroma which exhilarates his wife as they enjoy sexual union. In short, the perfume the wife wears not Victoria Secret (the famous perfume brand) but Victor (if Victor was the name of the husband)! What is more, in all the eight chapters of Song of Songs, there is no mention of a birth of a child. That tells me, that God created sex inside of marriage, not just for production of children but also the enjoyment of sexual pleasures! Have you heard the call from the fragrance of En Gedi to make your marriage bed, electrifying?

Finally, the call from FIRST CORINTHIANS ISSUED CALL OF ‘MISSIONARY’ DUTY

Apostle Paul in his First Letter to the Corinthian believer underlines a call of duty for both husband and wife: “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife” (I Cor. 7:3-4). This passage is akin to a missionary call. The only God-ordained ‘missionary’ that can deliver and demonstrate the ‘goodnews’ of sexual joy to your husband is you, wife! The only God-ordained ‘missionary’ that can declare and demonstrate the ‘goodnews’ of sexual joy to your wife is, husband! So, if not you, then who will excite the sexual life of your spouse?

The clear call not just to sanctify but electrify the marriage bed has come from different parts of Scripture.

Are Christian couples listening?

Duke Jeyaraj, a fulltime Bible Teacher, itinerant Revival Preacher, who is the author of this piece, is the founder of Grabbing the Google Generation from Gehenna Mission (G4 Mission). This is a reader-supported Indian ministry. Duke’s book, Straight Talk, brings frank Bible Teaching wrapped around contemporary events on sex, love, marriage, porn, phone addiction and the like. Duke is married to Evangelin who also works fulltime with G4 Mission. They have two children – Dale, 18 and Datasha, 14. They currently live in Chennai. Email us at emailduke@gmail.com if you need further information.

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G4 Mission History

A SPECIAL DUKE JEYARAJ-LED BIBLE STUDY DURING THE VALENTINE DAY MONTH OVER THE YEARS IN VARIOUS LOCATIONS INCLUDING THE MESSAGE, THE WHORE OR THE BRIDE?, THIS YEAR (2021)

Every year, we have been able to hold a Valentine Day Season Bible Study (or do one when someone invited us to) in the month of February since our ministry’s inception, more times than not as God enabled us to. Crucial Bible Truths on the intimate matters with regard to sex, love, marriage, porn, etc. were brought out frankly through these studies. In February 2006 when our ministry was launched, Duke spoke on True Romantic Love from the book of Song of Songs to a crowd of 500 in Youth Alive, New Life AG Church, Secunderabad. In Feb 2008, Duke brought Principles for Wise Life Partner Choice from Genesis 24, the chapter in which Abraham’s servant hunts for a wife for Abraham’s son, Isaac (again a message for about 500 youth in Youth Alive). In February of a particular year, Duke was in Delhi at the invitation on Rev. Dr. Y. D. Jeyaseelan speaking about The Bible On Sex and Sexual Sin (the video of which is among those with many hits on our channel, http://www.youtube.com/visitduke). In February 2010 Duke gleaned sex, love, marriage lessons from the book of Ruth for a group of working professionals in a meeting held at his home-base. In February 2012 Duke preached a message titled, When Moses Gave Roses….(a message from the Zipporah-Moses story). In February 2013 Duke shared a message on Thinking Black and White About Sexual Ethics Living Among The Fifty Shades of Grey Generation (in a meeting held at our rented ministry base). During February of a particular year, Duke preached a practical summary of the book of Song of Songs using the very name of the book as an outline for the message. It was a house-full Bible Study, that time. Duke often jokes, “Just because so many people came for the book of Song of Songs Bible Summary Study, I cannot summarize Song of Songs each time we do Bible Study. I have to cover other books too!” (Of course, all the 66 Bible Books were summarized eventually, a process that took 7 years). In February 2014 Duke preached a message titled, Handling Romantic Rejection…

In February 2015 Duke preached a message titled What the Longest NT Passage on Sex Love Marriage Teaches The Google Generation. In February 2016 Duke preached a message titled…The Greatest Book on the Most Hottest Topic [When Jeremiah (the Bible’s longest book in terms of number of words) Used Sexual Images In His Book: Bible Lessons from those….]. The same year, we studied on the subject, Which J Are You In Love With?, in a Bible Study at Praveen-Girisha’s home in Kondapur (a study of Ahab’s marriage with Jezebel). In February 2017 Duke preached a message on What Husbands What…What Wives Want to Corporate couples in a meeting in Bangalore following Pastor Ashley’s warm invite. In February 2018 upon the invitation of Pas Peter Samuel, Duke preached a message titled, Falling in Love With The Trinity…

In Feb 2019 Duke and Evan combined to preach on Ingredients of an Incredible Marriage following Rev. John Samuel’s invitation to married couples in Hyderabad. In February 2020 upon the invitation of Rev. Moncy Thomas Duke preached from the life of the inseparable NT couple, Aquila and Priscilla to a group of working professionals…. All these messages are in this playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2z1uBimInexnUtzBhJQlGGSMGz1X5eom In February 2021 (this month) on the 14th (which happened to be a Sunday), Duke preached a message title, The Whore Or The Bride? A Study from Revelation Bible Book, to a Zoom audience. You can listen to the audio of that message here:

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G4 Mission Real Life Stories Uncategorized

EVAN DUKE – HER LOVELY LIFE AND TERRIFIC TIMES

A summary by Duke Jeyaraj (her hubby dear)


A Summary of Evan Duke's life as she celebrates her 45th birthday!

As my wifey dear, Evan Duke, completes four and half decades of existence on God’s green earth, here is a summary of her lovely life and terrific times:


1) HOSTEL-DWELLER EVAN (0-10, 1976-85)


Since her parents, Mr. P. Selvam and Mrs. Esther Selvam, were missionaries to interior areas of Tamil Nadu first (Sitteri Hills) and Odisha later (including the area in which the Dr. Staines served), Evan lived in hostel even before she turned five. She was a protective elder sister to her two younger brothers – Solbrekken and Revivan.


2) HAND-RAISING & HIDING-GOD’S-WORD-IN-HEART EVAN (1986-1995)


When Missionary Mon Singh gave an altar call in Santhosha Vidhyalaya, Dohnavur, Tirunelveli District, Evan raised her hand to commit for fulltime ministry. She memorized the entire book of Philippians and recited it in  Sunabeda Public School in Odisha – a school in which she became School Captain down the line.


3) HEART-BEAT OF DUKE, EVAN (1996-2001)


At the age of 25, she became the heart-beat of Duke Jeyaraj, a young engineer turned itinerant evangelist and settled to live with a guy whose salary was Rs.3000 a month!


4) HERO OF DALE, EVAN & HYDERABAD HEADING EVAN (2002 – 2005)
She became the proud mom of Dale Nathan in 2003. Till date, he remains mummy’s biggest fan! A few hours ago Dale dished out an acronym-choreographed appreciation of his ‘shero’! She clearly heard God’s voice to Duke and herself asking them to move to Hyderabad after stints as Blessing Youth Mission Missionaries in Trivandrum and Jabalpur. And She encouraged her hubby dear to obey this voice and landed in Hyderabad on October 30, 2005 with little Dale in tow.


5) HUSBAND-PUSHING-FORWARD EVAN & HOME-FORTRESS MANAGING EVAN (2006-2015)


She prodded her hubby to take up the invitation of Center of Global Leadership Development – Southern Asia Bible College to join a Doctor of Ministry program and helped him focus on that. She stayed back home and managed the home even as Duke got his doctoral degree in 2014. She did nappy-changing happily for little Datasha (born in 2007) even as Duke preached in North West Bengal (Darjeeling) to South Tamil Nadu (Madurai), from West India (Mumbai) to East India (Vizag)! She co-founded the Grabbing the Google Generation (G4 Mission base) from Gehenna Mission with her husband, actively influencing him to say ‘no’ to other ministry job opportunities with other reputed churches and organisations. She encouraged Duke to quit his job with HSBC in 2008 and since then both she and Duke work fulltime with G4 Mission.


6) HEALING-CHANNEL EVAN (2016-2020)


She was the brain behind the Fountain of Tears Against Mountain of Fears Fasting prayer – an intercession event which was held every month at the G4 Mission base. As she led in prayer for the needs of the people who came to this meeting, God graciously moved and did miracles and healings. Cancer gone. Babies born. Marriages became joyous. Life Partners were found. 


No – Evan is not perfect. But she is the perfect life-partner and ministry-companion for me!

Categories
Single Youth

The B questions to ask before you choose your life partner – Duke Jeyaraj

white Duke

You are perhaps considering someone. You are perhaps praying about someone. “Someone,” who? Someone, who could be your life partner. Someone you would wake up with for the rest of your life. Someone who would be father/mother to your babies. It’s a big decision. You can change your computer printer – but not your life partner, according to the Bible. That’s why, this is a big decision. How can you be sure that a certain ‘someone’ is God’s chosen person to be your life partner? Here are some key questions to ask yourself before you prayerfully decide:

1. Is that person a BELIEVER? Is that person BORNAGAIN? The Bible is clear: falling in love with an unbeliever and later converting that  person to Christ is not an acceptable or recorded missionary statergy in the Bible. If the person you are interested in, is not a believer ALREADY, you are not certainly in the will of God with regard to your life partner choice. The one you take to bed, will influence your head, even if you are the wisest man on the earth. Ask Solomon he will tell you. He ended up worshipping idols influenced by his idol-worshipping wives. He did not convert them. They converted him.

2. Can you sail in that person’s BOAT? In other words, do both of you have the same life goal? Are you both willing to sail in the same direction, like Mr. and Mrs. Noah were? Or do you resemble Mr. and Mrs. Lot – a couple that went in the opposite directions? Amos 3:3 says, ‘two people who walk together must be agreed with each other’. Marriage is a life-long walk together. If you are desirous of being involved in ministry during your offs and other free times and if your partner does not enjoy this at all, say ‘tata’ to that partner.

3. Does the person possess the same BRAIN-WAVE LENGTH as you do? Marriage is not about having sex 24/7. It is about conversations over coffee. Converstations in bed.  Conversations and more conversations. Find a person with you can converse with without having to make too much effort. Find a person in the same wave-length as you are in.

4. Is that person BEAUTIFUL in your eyes? Read Ezekiel 24. In that chapter, you will discover the Prophet Ezekiel called his wife, ‘the delight of my eyes’. It is important that you find a partner you looks beautiful in your eyes or is as beautiful as you are (so make sure you keep looking at the mirror often so that you know how ‘beautiful’ you first are – sorry, if I was too blunt here!). Beauty, of course,  lies in the eye of the beholder. But don’t make beauty the only deciding factor. It is only skin deep or make-up deep or studio-photography deep (in today’s world!). Kick away traditional views on beauty – ‘the girl should be milk white!’,  ‘the boy should be twin towers tall!’ etc, etc. Grow up!

5. Does that person have the BUCKS to take care of you? After you get married, both of you need to pool in resources and make ends meet. If that is not going to be feasible, think again about the choice of the life partner, you are about to make. Dowry-demanding, directly or indirectly is wrong.It amounts to male-prostitution, according to me. And male-prostitutes do not make it to heaven, mind you, the Bible records! But a boy and a girl who are going to get married must count the cost of starting a new family and must be willing to adjust and live with the financial resources they pool-in together. Both the girl’s parents and the boy’s parents must bless them voluntarily with resources to help them settle down and start a new home.

6. Does that person have a BADGE OF APPROVAL from the elders? Samson and Easu threw out good parental advice when it came to life partner choice and paid for it, dearly. If advice from elders comes in line with God’s Word, take it. You would be wiser at the end of the day.

Keeping these ‘ 6 B’ questions in mind you can be wise in your life partner choice. Pray about the matter. If you have peace go ahead. If peace follows your prayer, the decision you have taken in line with God’s written Word, the Bible, is a God-guarded decision (Phil 4:6,7).  Do not postpone your choice of life partner giving some excuse or the other or by looking for a perfect life partner. When beauty queens did this, they became beggers (Isa 4:1).

There is another way one can look at this question:

Commanding Scripture: Is the partner I am considering a believer?

II Cor 6:14

Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?

Controlling Spirit: Do I have peace when I pray about him/her?

Phil 4

The Lord is at hand; 6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Counsel of Saints: Do others who mean good to me, especially elders and parents, think we will make a good pair?

Proverbs 11:14

Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.

Circumstantial Signs: Is God opening the doors for me to marry that person? For example, is she/he saying ‘s’ to the proposal of marriage?

Genesis 24

Behold, I am standing by the spring of water, and the daughters of the men of the city are coming out to draw water. 14 Let the young woman to whom I shall say, ‘Please let down your jar that I may drink,’ and who shall say, ‘Drink, and I will water your camels’—let her be the one whom you have appointed for your servant Isaac. By this [2] I shall know that you have shown steadfast love to my master.”

For the 4 ‘CSs’ I just used, I am grateful to Nicky Gumbel who first talked about them in one of his books.

Post Script: This article is for those who are working and in the age bracket to be married.  But if you still studying, please concentrate on your studies and be friends with everyone in your class instead of spending all your time with a boyfriend or girlfriend; student days are not the best times for romantic love; there is time for everything! (Eccl 3). Falling in love during your student days could potentially drill two holes into your system, one, in your heart, and, another, in your purse!

(Duke Jeyaraj is the founder of Grabbing the Google Generation from Gehenna Mission – G4 Mission – an ministry to presentday people supported by individual Indians who are blessed by Duke’s messages and articles. Find out more about Duke and this ministry by liking www.facebook.com/googleduke and www.facebook.com/dukebook or visiting www.dukev.org)